❤For the last three days it
feels like I have been undergoing a heart
and soul transformation!!! I have been
powerfully sensing the Holy Spirit working from within this fragile temple.
It has caused me to cry, to
laugh, to reflect, to repent and to desire more to draw deeper into my Father’s
arms. Somehow I have felt the Holy
Spirit opening up areas in my heart that have been closed for a long time.
I think the tears have
been coming from the parts within my soul that are being cleansed. It’s so true
that we are each like an onion! We have all
these layers protecting our heart and each time we go deeper with God there is
more peeling away of self.
When the Father peels, He
also heals.
I have purposed in my
heart (many times!) that I want nothing less than to be and to stay on the narrow
path. I want to hear my Father say to me one day, ‘well done good and faithful
servant’.
This morning I was
thinking about being a disciple, about ‘following’ Jesus, not just glancing at
Him. I was picturing what it was like
when He walked the earth and asked His disciples to follow Him. In Matthew 9:9 we read:
“Then as Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the
tax office. And He said to him, “Follow Me”. And he arose and followed Him.”
This call to Mathew and to the rest of the disciples I believe is the
same call that He makes to everyone of us! It’s a definite “call” though which cannot be
manufactured or entertained in our own strength. Understanding more fully what it means to
follow Him is a challenging but worthwhile pursuit, and well worth every drop
of blood, sweat and tears.
When I first started my journey as a Christian I had to leave behind a
way of life that I was very accustomed to. I was heavily involved in the New
Age and all that’s involved in it. I just could not live that way anymore.
Through the years I found that there is a continual work of the Holy
Spirit in our lives that we call ‘sanctification’. Sometimes it’s tough because
it calls us to die to self, change our way of thinking and to let go of pride,
popularity, people and all kinds of stuff. From my experience we all have a tendency to
put walls or guards up around our heart, especially as a result of hurt or
disappointment. For the past few days however. God in His infinite love has
been exposing and dismantling some of these walls.
I needed to be honest with Him and to confess that I had lost some of that spark, that
excitement and anticipation of knowing and following Him. My first love was more
like a second hand love for Him!
I then asked God to help me to love Him like He wants. I have learned one
thing very well! I can’t do anything in
my own strength to please Him!! It is
only total surrender to and reliance on
God that can make Him smile. The word ‘surrender’
can be a little scary and is never easy, but when we have a revelation of the
nature and character of the One we are surrendering to it is more appealing
than surrendering to the desires and cravings of pleasure.
It’s a moment by moment choice to ‘follow’ Him and to live by faith
rather than feelings.
❤
So if you find yourself on your knees asking Him to work in you and
through you, I believe He will and He does.
I was
reminded of this scripture in Ezekiel 36:26-27, 29
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take
the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put
My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My
judgments and do them. I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses."
Notice how many times God says “I WILL”.
Thankfully, it’s not up to me to make this spiritual journey “work”. Yes I need to co-operate with everything He
tells me, but I am learning to wait for His instructions, His initiatives, His
power before engaging in any spiritual battles. The good works that we do
accomplish are meant to be the fruit of the Spirit
working in and through our lives. Perhaps
it is the continual pruning in our lives and the gradual dying to self that
determines if we truly belong to Him or are just playing games.
Lord, please help me be willing!
And a thought on finishing. In Matthew 7:21-23 we read,
“Not everyone who says to Me “Lord, Lord”, shall
enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.
Many will say to Me on that day, “Lord, Lord have we not prophesied in Your
name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?” And
then I will declare to them, ”I never knew you, depart from Me, you who
practice lawlessness!” The phrase ‘I never knew you’ refers to a very
close and intimate relationship as in marriage.
So the bottom line is - Let’s get intimate and stay intimate with the
Lover of our soul!
Lord, draw us deeper!
❤~Mary><((((º>
